


Gioventù Bruciata

by GuineapigQueen



Category: South Park
Genre: Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Addiction, M/M, Mpreg, Post Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, tweek was abused by his parents not creek's child
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-09-07 16:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 10,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20312791
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GuineapigQueen/pseuds/GuineapigQueen
Summary: Gioventù Bruciata ~ Wasted YouthCraig likes it when the sky looks moody. All dark hues of grey, blue, indigo and sometimes even purple. He doesn’t always get to see the stars out here in the city, so the colours of the sky are the next best thing. Lately, the sky threatening to pour down has been a solace almost, something to relate to in a sea of loneliness.





	1. Uramaki

**Author's Note:**

> A weird, moody little ode I wrote to single parents and their children. This isn't a happy creek story, it's much more about Craig and his son as well as Craig's relationship with his mother.  
The entire soundtrack to this was Mahmood's album Gioventù Bruciata - which you should check out even if you don't speak Italian. (I don't really speak much Italian at all and I love it.)

Craig likes it when the sky looks moody. All dark hues of grey, blue, indigo and sometimes even purple. He doesn’t always get to see the stars out here in the city, so the colours of the sky are the next best thing. Lately, the sky threatening to pour down has been a solace almost, something to relate to in a sea of loneliness. It’s pathetic but it’s the best he’s got; the more he hangs out with his peers the more alienated he feels. He’s not sure what’s worse: feeling alone with company or simply just being on his own with nobody for comfort. If he can’t relate to the people around him he might as well seek company in the forces of nature. His life is kind of a storm anyway - it never seems to settle or calm. 

Even when Tweek is asleep beside him, he feels like a lone seafarer. He steers the boat for both of them as best he can, but he’s only one person and he can’t do every job on his own. Whilst he feels desperately alone, he knows he isn’t. Never will be, not with the child growing in his belly. The one he shouldn’t be keeping, but is anyway. The one Tweek says he’s going to change for. Craig doesn’t know if Tweek will ever change, if they split up and Craig has to go it alone he’ll do what he has to. All he does know is that he loves them both and he wants it to work. In a way, he connects to the baby much better than those around him, even Tweek. He feels alone in this, but his baby is just as alone in the world really. They’re two peas in a pod. Everything is about the baby now for him; he’s going to be a good parent - a proper one. Not that young parent stereotype of “ _ we were more like best friends _ .” No, he’s gonna do the same as what his mother did for him. He will be a protector, a source of love and affection but he won’t be lazy or lenient. He will teach his kid everything he can and do whatever he can to raise the best person possible. 

He left school before senior year because Tweek had a psychotic break and had literally nobody else to help keep him safe. His mom was mad but she didn’t stop him. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. Tweek has been living in foster care since he was in elementary school. In and out constantly, nobody wants to adopt a kid with the behavioural issues Tweek has. He’s been exposed to meth nearly all his life; that does things to a kid, especially in utero. This has made Craig himself hyper conscious of what he puts into his own body. The last thing he wants is to feed his own child poison, not like Tweek’s parents did to him. They’ve been living together in this dingy flat ever since Tweek came out of hospital, when Craig was unknowingly pregnant. Craig mostly gets the rent paid; Tweek has a job but he doesn’t work all that much. Craig is the one who regularly has work. 

Craig’s mom is a young single mom. She was in a similar position that Craig is in now, some eighteen years ago. Craig has never known his father, he has no interest to. He doesn’t want things to go the same way with him and Tweek, but he knows better than to have his hopes too high. His mom did everything she could for him on her own, he always had a roof over his head and a bed. They didn't always have a lot of food, but Craig always ate even if his mom didn’t, and when they couldn’t afford heating she gave him all the blankets. He understands this more than ever now. His baby is safe and warm now, curled up in his belly and shielded from the outside world, but when they’re out it will be harder to protect them. 

He often stays up late, alone. Tweek will go out with their friends, party and do who knows what but Craig hasn’t the stomach for it anymore. It’s easy to blow everyone off and say he’s too tired - he  _ is  _ pregnant after all. He won’t be around that kind of lifestyle; kids drinking their childhood away. He can’t do it. He knows he’s grown up far too quickly, sees the world with adult eyes, but somebody has to. Somebody in this fucked up neighbourhood has to try and do better. Doing all those childish things isn’t fun for Craig anymore, so he sits at home and waits. He tries to sleep but never can manage, so instead he waits by the window, watching the rain fall as he waits for Tweek’s silhouette to appear under the streetlights - it doesn’t always. Craig worries something will go really wrong; maybe he’ll die out there, maybe someone will OD. All he knows is he can’t watch anymore but he can’t let Tweek go either. As it stands now, he thinks he’ll wait forever even if it is against his better judgement. 

Tweek will come home eventually, usually all smiles and ‘I love you’s.’ He kisses Craig, and then his belly and will say how much he missed them. Craig will give in and melt, because he is in love, and stupidly so. His relationship with Tweek is the most childish thing about him because he knows better. He knows he should leave, or at least put his foot down but he always breaks and lets Tweek back in. 

Today, Tweek is home, asleep. The psych meds he’s taking have zonked him out, and he hasn’t had any kind of self-prescribed uppers. He’ll probably stay in bed all day. Craig just looks out the window, as he always does and watches the rain. One day he’ll be here with his baby on his knee; he’ll show them the street, tell them about all the people he likes to watch. He’ll tell them about the sky, how beautiful the sunsets and sunrises are. They’ll watch storms together, he’ll try not to tell them he’s waiting for Tweek. They can share this together. Tweek would never sit still long enough to really watch the comings and goings of the world like Craig does, but maybe he'll show his baby the natural beauty of the world. 

Tweek is truly, truly alone in the world. No parents. Craig is pretty sure they are both in prison; he only knows this because he googled their names and read about their arrest and ensuing court case. Child abuse on that scale usually makes the news, and it did. Tweek hasn't read these details because he doesn't want to know, he doesn't want anything to do with them. Craig doesn't have the heart to tell him that if he keeps going the way he is, he will become them. If Craig walks out on him, that's really it - Tweek is genuinely on his own. There's no one to bail him out, nobody to be a good influence or pick him up when he's down. Craig has his mom and she will never, ever turn him away, but Tweek only has Craig and their baby. It's the only semblance of a family he has, and maybe that's a huge part of why Craig doesn't walk away - because he wants that too. He wants that family, the one both he and Tweek never got to have. He wants them together, happy, a we're-not-rich-but-we-make-up-for-it-in-love kind of family. He wants his baby to have two parents, a warm home and just a happy, healthy place to grow up. He wants Tweek to get his shit together so badly, but he also knows fairytales don't happen to people like him. 

He's already the child of a single teenage mother living in a town famous for its drug abuse and crime above all else. Craig doesn't like to use the word ghetto, and although the outlook is pretty bleak, he likes to think they have more potential than that. By being born here, in this town, this demographic and to an already struggling parent, Craig was already at a disadvantage. He used to have vague dreams about doing better; his main goal was to get out, find a more stable life for himself but that became impossible to achieve when Tweek got really ill. Most of his friends, Tweek included, began to fall into the same patterns as their parents. Dropping out of school, dealing, getting addicted to whatever. (Craig tries to stay out of whatever it is cool to be doing at the moment. Tweek's drug of choice has always been meth, since he was born addicted to it.) Craig was pretty proud of himself for not falling prey to those patterns so prevalent in their neighborhood. He had intended to stay in school, he did pretty well academically and he studied hard. Things just got too heavy with Tweek, and then he got pregnant. It was just too much all at once and now he's too behind to go back. He needs to make money anyway, there isn't time for school anymore. 

For Craig, the dream is now to have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies. That's really all he can hope for, unless Tweek gets better and they can make more money together. Making ends meet is all he's aiming for right now. 

It's been hard to really enjoy his pregnancy. He's jealous of people who can relax and really enjoy the excitement of having a new baby. This is something his mom can relate to and they've had conversations at length about. He's mostly worried and scared and he knows it's no good for the baby. People mostly judge him rather than be kind or positive. The closest he gets to enjoyment is when he’s alone at night waiting for Tweek, or when he can’t sleep from worrying. He can actually have a moment to touch his bump and realise how much everything has changed. Sometimes it's a bit jarring that his belly has grown so much but he doesn't hate it. He likes knowing the baby is there, he's proud that they're growing healthy despite all the bullshit. He feels bonded to this baby - he's not sure Tweek is really on that same level. He's not sure the baby is really real to Tweek yet. 

A huge part of Craig wants to go back home to his mom but he feels too guilty to leave Tweek. If things don't improve he's going to have to. He won't have his baby exposed to drugs, or even crime. Craig has already barred Tweek's dealer friends from coming to their apartment. They've had a few arguments about it but Craig wins out in the end. He still lets Tweek go out, it feels controlling to bar him from that but he's not letting any of it in his house. Deep down, Craig knows it’s worse than that. Tweek is an addict, he was born an addict and he's been using on and off since childhood. Craig didn't fully understand the scope of it until they moved in together but he can see it now. He doesn't know what to do about it really, as he doesn't fully blame Tweek. Craig doesn't know what it's like to be born addicted to drugs and to have been taken from your parents because they chose drugs over you. He doesn't understand the hold drugs have over a person, not first hand anyway. Craig is lucky, he may have a poor, young single mother but at least she does right by him. There were never any drugs in the house, all his mom did was bust her ass working. She was always so emotionally loving and always tried to meet all his needs. Craig knows he has one of the best parents on his block and he's very, very grateful. He knows he's gotta do the same - do better for his baby. He's gotta cut the bad out, even if it means he will be lonely - lonely for adult company at least. He will always have his baby to love and care for.

Craig knows Tweek is still using, he just doesn’t know when to leave. 


	2. Asia Occidente

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig does his best to ignore Tweek's silhouette out on the street. Tweek knows he likes to watch the world go by out the window. Tweek knows he can see him. Craig pretends he doesn't anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> These are sort of more like a series of one-shots over Craig's life, so there will be time jumps.

Craig does his best to ignore Tweek's silhouette out on the street. Tweek knows he likes to watch the world go by out the window. Tweek knows he can see him. Craig pretends he doesn't anyway. 

He doesn't understand why Tweek keeps trying to get him to come back. Craig is the one keeping him from the drugs and partying after all. Craig is the buzzkill, the boring one, no fun.  _ The adult.  _

He's also the parent. Singular. Because even when they were still together, Craig was always the only one doing any actual parenting. He hadn't wanted to leave but Tweek hadn't stepped up to the plate at all. He hadn't come home for like a week, not long after their son was born. Craig was alone, still sore and healing from giving birth with a demanding newborn. He'd panicked,gone straight back to his mom's and he hasn't looked back since. 

Tweek has tried a few times to get him back and now is no exception. Tweek seems determined, he just waits, knowing Craig can see him from inside. Many, many times Craig has wanted to go outside and at least offer him a warm bed but he knows that will only end with them in bed together. 

He's still trying to figure out how Tweek will see their son. Craig doesn't trust him on his own at the moment. So he figures he will have to let him in sooner or later. He just decides that it will be later. 

Apart from all that Craig is doing his best to be a good parent. He doesn’t want to ask his mom for too much, so he is paying for everything on his own. His mom is nice enough to keep an ear out for when his baby needs a feed while he works nights. That’s more than enough for him. It’s not easy but it’s kind of working so far. He’s functioning, he’s barely making ends meet but they are meeting. Just. 

He does love his child though, his son. This is the life he has chosen and although it’s difficult it’s his path to take, he treasures the moments they have together during the day when he isn’t working. He is left breathless by his tiny hands, ten perfect fingers, soft downy hair and a tiny nose. The fact that he made this human is something he cannot believe, he cannot believe his body was capable of producing something so perfect. He just stares sometimes, in awe of how wonderful his son is. 

Tweek was there when he was born. He held Craig’s hand and whispered encouragement as a birth partner should. He cried when their son was born. He acted like it was the best day of his life, that everything would change from here on out. Craig wanted to believe him, but he still gave his son his last name, not Tweek’s. They’d already agreed on the name Seth and Tweek didn’t seem to have any objections when he signed the birth certificate. It sometimes came up later in fights, if Craig was calling Tweek out for staying out late and not contributing Tweek would hit back that the baby didn’t even get his last name. Craig would ignore that because if Tweek wasn’t gonna be present for important conversations than he wasn’t getting a say in the decisions. He was pretty sure Tweek didn’t actually care, he just wanted to hurt him. Craig has bigger fish to fry, so it didn’t hurt the same way it might have before Seth was born. 

Tweek doesn’t go from outside Craig’s childhood bedroom window. He stays, the weather sours and the temperature drops. Raindrops litter his jacket but he doesn’t seem to notice. He just stands directly under the streetlight, his breath escaping in a mist like cigarette smoke. He looks cold and lonely. He really does have no one else in this world, nobody but Craig and Seth. Craig feels guilty knowing he and Seth are safe and warm inside. He has his son snuggled up with him in his childhood bed, there’s blankets to keep them warm and pillows to rest their heads. All Tweek has is the cold damp and the streetlight. Craig doesn’t think he can take it anymore. So he caves, he makes sure Seth is wrapped up warm and bundles him up in his arms. He heads down to let Tweek inside, at least. He knows he shouldn’t, he knows they are bad for one another but his heart can’t say no. It takes him a minute to actually get out there, his mom lives in an apartment so he's gotta get the elevator down and head through the foyer. Tweek may not even have noticed he's coming, he's not sure if Tweek can even see into his window. He just knows he's there. 

The chill of the wind hits him almost as soon as he heads out. He isn't working tonight but most nights, when he is, this feeling is familiar. Seth begins to whine a little in his arms so he cuddles him in closer in an attempt to keep him warm. Tweek looks up as soon as he hears the door close shut and his eyes light up when he realises its Craig. He runs over, closing the distance between them. He looks so skinny, and so cold. 

"I've  _ -nghh-  _ missed you both so much," Tweek says, voice wobbling with emotion. He wraps his arms around Craig pulling him into a hug with Seth between them. Craig can't hug him back as both his arms are occupied carrying Seth. "I'm so sorry Craig," Tweek adds, he sounds very genuine. But then again, he always does. 

"We miss you too," Craig admits. It is true after all.

"I love you so much Craig you don't even  _ -gah- _ know," Tweek pleads "I'm nothing without you." 

"You're not," Craig replies "but I love you too." 

Seth whines again, like he's about to cry. Craig knows that cry, he's due for a feed soon. He kisses the top of his son's head for comfort anyway. 

"Oh no, little man," Tweek says, reaching out to stroke Seth's cheek. "He's gotten so  _ -nnn- _ big," he says to Craig. 

"Yeah, he's growing quick," Craig replies "come in, it's cold and he's hungry." 

Tweek follows behind as Craig struggles to hold Seth and pull out his key. 

"Can I take him?" Tweek asks quietly. 

"Oh… okay," Craig relents, he's unsure but he doesn't want to be that person who denies his kid their dad. He definitely doesn't want that for Seth. So he hands Seth over. He doesn't need to tell Tweek how to support his head and hold him. Tweek learned when he was born. 

"He's so  _ -ah-  _ cute," Tweek coos at Seth. 

Craig lets them all in and they head for the elevator. Tweek has been here countless times before they moved in together, Craig had him staying over most nights. He didn't really have anywhere else to go. 

Craig silently leads them all into his mom's place. His mom is watching tv alone in their tiny living room. The apartment is better than the one he shared with Tweek, but it is still very small and basic. It is warm though, his mom is in a better place financially than she was when he was a kid. She can actually pay the heating and keep the lights on now. 

"Hi Tweek," she says once she sees him. She knows they're having issues but she's not pushing Craig one way or another. She understands better than most just how complicated things are so she lets them be to sort out their own shit. 

"Hi Laura," Tweek replies shyly. He's probably worried Craig has painted him in a bad light to her or something. Craig really couldn't be bothered when he has a baby to feed. 

"You come to see Seth?" She asks Tweek. 

"And  _ -hnn-  _ Craig, yeah," Tweek replies awkwardly, he looks down at Seth in his arms, who is still whining but hasn't broken into a full on cry yet. 

"That's great. It's good to see you," she says with a small smile "look after yourself."

"Ah yeah, you too," he replies. Craig gives his mom a wave before beckoning Tweek into his bedroom. 

"Just sit on the bed with him or something while I make him a bottle, okay?" Craig instructs Tweek. He wants to try and talk to Tweek about all the shit, but Seth has to come first. 

Tweek does as he's told and Craig ducks into the kitchen quickly and begins warming up a pre-made bottle from the fridge.

"Are you getting back together?" His mom asks. The living room and kitchen are almost attached, the apartment is that small. 

"Ah, I don't know about that," Craig replies as he watches the microwave counting down.

"Okay, be careful I guess," she says. "No matter what I love you, and you'll always have a bed here."

"I know," Craig says in reply "thank you, we'd be homeless without you."

"It's okay baby, I'll never let you be homeless," she promises. 

"Thank you," he says sincerely.

She smiles at him before turning back to the tv. She, like Craig himself, likes her alone time as well. 

The microwave beeps and Craig makes sure the milk is at a safe temperature. He's got the routine kinda down now, he's pretty good at microwaving long enough to get the right temperature. Today it's a little bit too warm so he decides to wait a little. 

When he gets back to his bedroom Seth is crying properly. Tweek looks a little awkward trying to comfort him, he's trying though and Craig appreciates that. 

"Give him here," Craig says and Tweek complies. 

"He's just hungry," Craig explains "he's extremely vocal about it."

"Yeah, I  _ -hnn- _ figured. I made such a  _ -gah- _ mistake abandoning you guys," Tweek frowns "I'm so sorry I did that."

"It hurt me that you didn't really seem interested in Seth," Craig admits "he's the one who needs you the most."

"I  _ am -nnn-  _ interested in him, I wanna be the best dad I can. I'm gonna  _ -nghh-  _ get out of those circles and just focus on you two," Tweek promises. Craig wants to believe so badly. 

"He's your child, you need to stop all this bullshit with the partying and drugs and staying out all night," Craig asserts.

"I know, I will. I'm  _ -gah- _ here aren't I? I could be out with them but I've been coming here instead," Tweek says. "here is where I want to be, man."

"I hope so, I didn't  _ want  _ to split up. I just had to get Seth into a better environment" Craig confesses.

"I love you," Tweek says. "you're  _ -nnn-  _ the only person for me, you have my baby. We're supposed to be a family." 

"We are," Craig agrees. Well he agrees in the sense that families  _ should  _ be together. Things  _ should  _ work out, it doesn't mean they will. 

"Just let me try, yeah? I'll show you how much I  _ -ah-  _ love you guys. I'll be perfect, I'll stop going out, I'll just  _ -hnn-  _ stay here with you and make sure Seth has the best dad ever. I swear," Tweak pleads. Craig focuses on feeding Seth so that he doesn't have to look Tweek in the eyes. 

"Do you?" Craig questions. He needs more than Tweek's promises. 

"I do. I'll do whatever you  _ -gah- _ want to prove it… we can get married if that's what you want, man?" Tweek replies "I do wanna marry you, man." 

"I love you, but I don't think we should get married. I think we should go slow," Craig says, hoping he derails that train. He wants to marry Tweek one day, in his craziest fantasies. But his reality persists and he knows better. 

"Yeah sure, we can  _ -ah-  _ go slow man. Whatever you want," Tweek says, nodding furiously. 

"I want you, here, being a proper dad to your son," Craig requests as seriously as he can manage. This is his only real condition. 

"I can do that, I will do that," Tweek promises, he's only been here for maybe half an hour and he's already promised  _ so  _ much.

"Don't tell me, just show me," Craig replies.

"Of course!" Tweek cries, he wraps his arms around Craig. He gives Seth a kiss before coming to kiss Craig "I love you," he says, “I will never let you down."

Later, Craig watches Tweek sleep next to him. He doesn't think this calm will last but he can only hope it does. 


	3. Remo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Craig knows history repeats itself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Craig is doing his best to keep his family afloat. He and Tweek will be split up permanently from now on, so there's no happy creek here, just to warn you. Hope you still enjoy the read nonetheless.

Craig knows history repeats itself. He remembers being in a cold apartment, snuggling with his mother to keep warm. They shared a bed, because she couldn't afford a two bedroom back then. She gave him all the blankets in the house and snuggled him close until he was warm enough to fall asleep. Sometimes she wouldn't even sleep herself, the area was dangerous, sometimes there were the noises of fighting, shots. She tried to protect Craig and shelter him from the violence around. He was scared, but he knew she'd never let anyone hurt him.

This is his life now, except now he's the adult with his own child to protect. 

He's been alone for years now, Tweek made himself scarce for the last time when Seth was around two. There'd been a lot of coming and going on Tweek's part. A lot of fights and broken promises. Craig hit the end of his tether when Tweek came home clearly high as balls. Seth was two, Craig didn't want him forming all these memories of how dysfunctional his parents are. He kicked out Tweek, even if he sobbed to himself all night. He locked himself in the bathroom and shoved his face into a towel so Seth wouldn't hear. When Seth woke during the night, needing water or a hug or whatever Craig tried his best to steel himself and act like nothing was wrong. 

Not long after he kicked Tweek out and it became apparent Craig was never letting him come back it came out that Tweek had been cheating with several other people anyway. It had hurt Craig's feelings immensely but he'd been gone for months at that point and Craig was pretty done crying over him. 

Over time Seth began to forget Tweek. Stopped asking about him, stopped expecting visits and just generally stopped talking about him. Craig has always tried to keep the door open for Tweek to visit at least but Tweek isn't interested. There's been radio silence for years now and they've slowly lost contact. Craig has moved since their split but he doesn't think that's an excuse. He's never blocked Tweek on any social media sites. In fact sometimes he still sees Tweek's updates because of mutual friends. Tweek has had another kid with someone else since the split but according to Clyde, one of the only people from school he still talks to, Tweek isn't involved in the care of that child either. It makes Craig kinda sad to know Seth has a half sibling somewhere that he doesn't know. Craig hasn't got an aspirations to have more kids. He hasn't dated since Tweek, he's remained fiercely focused on Seth and providing for him. It would be nice for Seth to know this half sibling but circumstance hasn't allowed this. 

Seth is not quite five now, he'll be in school next year. Craig knows he might struggle, but they live in a low socioeconomic area so Craig doubts he'll be the only child of a poor single parent in his grade. Despite their less than ideal living circumstances Seth seems to be a bright and happy kid. He wishes he had someone to play with but Craig can barely afford to keep them both afloat. He's not having another kid. He hopes Seth will make friends in school and that will be enough. For now, he's going to have to do as a playmate. Craig still works nights and Seth mostly stays home by himself. Craig doesn't want to leave a four year old on his own but it's that or the bills don't get paid. His mom comes and stays with Seth when she can but it's not possible every night. Craig hopes to switch to days once Seth starts school.

Today he got off work kind of early. It was an earlier shift than he'd normally take but he can't say no to extra money. Not when he's in this situation. His mom came and watched Seth until she put him to bed then she had to leave. Nobody likes leaving him alone but between them there really isn't another option. Seth's four, nearly five, but he's pretty switched on. Craig supposes he has to be in this situation. He's much more streetwise than a kid his age should be. He knows not to open the door to anyone, he knows to stay quiet and hide if there is drama outside. He's taught Seth how to use the speed dial function on the phone. It doesn't mean Craig doesn't worry. He always worries. His mom tells him that never stops. 

He's thankful he gets home at two rather than his usual five, or sometimes even seven depending on the shift. It's still freezing outside, the early hours always are. He is prepared though, he always has a big jacket, beanie, scarf and gloves. Their worn and old but they do the job. His mom has talked about buying him new winter things as an early Christmas gift and honestly that would be a lifesaver. He gets an uber, because there is no public transport at this hour and the area isn't the safest at night. It's not very far to drive and anything that gets him home to Seth quicker is good. 

He gives the uber driver a good rating on the app. Any driver who doesn't force small talk is a great driver in Craig's eyes. It's been a long night, he's exhausted from work and he just wants to get home and out of the cold. The uber driver drops him right in front of his building so it doesn't take long for him to get inside. It's already much warmer inside and the temperature difference is welcome. It's not much but it's enough. He's just glad there's no weirdos hanging out and causing shit. The elevator ride is uneventful and Craig all but races to his door when he gets to his floor. The silence is comforting, tonight seems to have been a good night for their complex. No police or domestic arguments. 

Craig is careful to lock the door behind him when he gets inside. Just because he's home doesn't mean they're safe. The area requires locks and vigilance. 

"Daddy?" A small voice says from a mound of covers on the bed.

"Yeah, it's me, I'm home," Craig replies "did I wake you up?"

"No," he says, still not moving from the bed. 

"I'm glad I didn't wake you, are you okay?" Craig asks. It's not usual for Seth to be awake when he gets home.

"No. I'm scared," he says, voice a little wobbly. 

"Why are you scared baby?" Craig asks, heading over to the bed and looking under the cover fort to find Seth. He launches himself at Craig almost as soon as he sees him. Craig hugs his son tight "I'm here," he soothes. 

"I had a dream that you didn't come back," Seth explains, sounding distraught. Craig hates that he knows this feeling too well. Knows what it's like to worry a parent is never coming home. He hates that he's putting his son through the same intense emotions. 

"It's okay my love, I'm here now and I will always come home to you," he says, trying his best to comfort Seth. He strokes Seth's hair and makes sure to hold him tight. Much like his mom did for him. 

"It was cold and I was lonely," Seth says sadly. Craig always feels so heartbroken when this happens. 

"I know, I'm sorry. I hate to leave too," Craig replies "but I will always come home to you. Always."

"Do you promise?" Seth asks him, face still buried in the fabric of Craig's shirt. 

"Yes, I promise," Craig asserts. They have a small moment just snuggled together on the bed they share. It's bleak, it's cold but they have each other. 

Until it is interrupted by the sound of a woman screaming and several loud bangs. Craig knows this couple, they're his neighbors and he thinks they're addicted to meth. They fight a lot and loudly, all Craig can do is call the cops and make sure they don't get too near his apartment. 

Seth makes a scared little whimper and hugs Craig harder. Hiding in his shirt still. 

"It's okay baby," Craig whispers and continues to stroke Seth's hair. 

The couple are full on arguing now. Craig can never make out what they're actually saying only the tone of their voices. Usually the girl shrieks like she's dying and the dude bellows and punches things. Usually the walls, if he has hit her Craig doesn't know about it. They're usually just loud but Craig is pretty sure any yelling is terrifying to a four year old. 

"I will call the police if they don't stop," Craig promises and holds Seth as tight as he can.

"Okay," Seth says quietly "I love you," he adds. 

"I love you too, so much," Craig replies "you don't have to be afraid anymore. I'm here." 

Craig and Seth stay huddled on the bed and wait for the noise to die down. Craig hopes Seth might fall asleep through it but he stays awake. Clearly frightened and shaken up by the dream and anxious from the fighting outside. 

"You should try and get some sleep," Craig says to him "kids shouldn't be up this late."

"I can't," Seth objects.

"You can," Craig promises, leaning down to press a kiss to the top of Seth's head "I'm here to keep you safe. I will watch over you."

"Just hug me," Seth replies "please?"

"Of course," Craig agrees "I will stay up all night if I have too, okay?"

Seth nods, yawning against Craig's chest. 

"Just try and sleep, okay?" Craig says calmly. Craig is used to staying up all night at work. He doesn't mind staying awake until he is sure Seth is asleep. He thinks the couple probably will have given up by then, they usually do. Craig has learnt to sleep through them anyway. 

It takes Seth a little while to settle, which doesn't surprise Craig. He's clearly had a rough night but fatigue wins out in the end. Craig makes sure to gently move Seth into a more comfortable sleeping position before moving in next to him. He doesn't mind if Seth wants to stay close. They only have this bed after all, so Craig lets him be as clingy as he needs. For Craig sleep comes quickly, he's exhausted from work and from staying awake to comfort Seth. He drifts into sleep peacefully despite the noise around him. It's easier to focus on the sound of Seth's breathing and the warmth of his body curled up next to Craig. He finds it odd that a few years ago Tweek was here, that he even tried to maintain a relationship. This bed is no longer for any of those things, but for him and his child only. All he wants is a safe, warm place for his baby to rest. 

They sleep in during the morning, Seth waking waking briefly before moving in for a cuddle. They're both too exhausted to get up so they stay in bed even when the sun is streaming through the dusty windows. They only rise when Seth complains of being hungry. Craig makes him breakfast and they embrace the hope of a new day. Last night is only a memory. 


	4. Soldi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is the most stable they've been in years. Craig feels like he's finally getting somewhere and really building a life for them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seth meets Tweek, Craig's small world is thrown into chaos.

Craig works during the day now and Seth gets the upgrade to latch key kid. He isn't alone at nights anymore. Craig uses the nights to study. He's getting a nursing degree, he should be done by next year. He has a full scholarship, he knew his grades were good in school but he's proud that he was able to pull this off as an adult. Craig has worked out his schedule so that he can go to class, go to work and come home to Seth. It's insane how well it's working out and how smooth his life is going. This is the most hopeful he's been in years. Seth is eleven, and he's doing well at school. He seems to have inherited Craig's academic abilities and seems to like to learn. Craig does his best to help Seth as much as he can with homework and assignments but he's pretty busy himself. 

This is the most stable they've been in years. Craig feels like he's finally getting somewhere and really building a life for them. When he can actually work as a nurse things will be even better. He hopes he can move into a nicer apartment, one with even more space in a nicer area. They've moved around a few times through the years. Mainly because renting sucks, it's all still in the same area just being shuffled around to different complexes. The apartment they have now is better, it's two bedroom at least. It's still tiny and shabby but at least Seth has his own room. There's less crime and violence in this complex. They both feel much safer. Craig's ultimate goal is to move to an even better area. A safer one with better schools and better opportunities for Seth. 

He's proud that he's done it all on his own. Tweek hasn't been in contact since Seth was two years old. Craig feels bad that Seth has missed out on that relationship with his other parent. He's also glad that Tweek has been absent, only because Tweek has mostly gotten worse not better. Craig only knows bits and pieces but according to mutual friends Tweek's life has mostly been a downward spiral of drug addiction. He doesn't want Seth exposed to any of that even at the expense of his relationship with Tweek. 

Seth knows the bare minimum. Craig doesn't want to be that parent who paints a bad picture of the absent one. He just wants Seth to know that it isn't his fault things turned the way they did. He just told Seth that Tweek is sick and that until he gets treatment he isn't allowed to come over. As Seth got older he did explain that Tweek has chosen not to be here but he tried his best to stress that this was not because of Seth. That sometimes his illness makes him make bad decisions and that losing Seth was the worst decision he made. He knows he'll have to explain even more soon because Seth often asks him why Tweek can't just get better. Craig doesn't want to explain drug addiction to an eleven year old. He thinks Seth understands a bit more than he's letting on but that's because he's grown up around the drug issues in the area. He's seen the devastation firsthand. He's lucky in that the two family members who raised him - Craig and his mother, have remained untouched by the drug epidemic. A lot of neighborhood kids aren't so lucky. It's better now that they live in the slightly nicer apartment but he'd be lying if he said the area was unscathed. 

Today he and Seth are spending the evening doing school work. Seth is working on his homework and Craig is studying from a textbook. It's kind of nice to be doing this together. Seth gets that Craig left school early, Craig has made it very clear that he wants Seth to finish school. He has tried to implore that this was a bad decision on his part and that he's spent a good deal of his adult life catching up. 

"Do you like your school work?" Seth asks Craig. They're both sitting on the second hand couch Craig's mom got them years ago. 

"Yeah, I do," Craig replies.

"It's just funny that you're at school and I am too," Seth points out.

"It's a bit unusual I guess, but I think it's good," Craig says. "I'm doing it so we can have a better life."

"Our life isn't bad," Seth states, and Craig agrees. 

"It's not bad but it could be better. I don't really like working in the supermarket but I know I will like being a nurse." Craig knows this because he has thrived on all his clinical placements thus far. Nursing is hard work but for him it's worth it. So much more fulfilling than stocking shelves or dealing with the check out. 

"I want you to do a job you like," Seth says happily. 

"I'm glad you do my love," Craig replies "I hope you get to do a job you like when you're grown up."

"I don't know what I want to be yet," Seth says honestly. 

"You don't have to know yet," Craig tells him, "I didn't know for a long time, it's okay."

"Okay," Seth says with a nod "I'll let you know when I decide."

"Okay sure," Craig says with a small laugh. 

Their conversation is cut short by the sound of their apartment buzzer. Craig is taken aback, he wasn't expecting anyone and they rarely have visitors. Well, apart from Craig's mother and she always calls ahead. 

"Hello?" He says cautiously after pressing the button. 

"Craig? It's Tweek."

"I'm sorry?" Craig asks, his chest going tight at the sound of that familiar voice. 

"It's Tweek. Can we  _ -ah-  _ talk?"

"Um, let me come down to meet you," Craig doesn't want to say  _ because I don't want Seth to see you.  _ He doesn't want to give Seth some kind of false hope, he wants to assess the situation himself.

"Okay, I'll wait," Tweek says over the intercom. 

"I'll be right back," Craig promises Seth while grabbing a jacket and scarf. 

"Where are you-?" Seth begins to ask.

"I'll explain later, I'll be back in a minute," he interrupts. 

He heads down quickly, on the one hand he's dreading the interaction on the other hand he just wants it done. He hasn't spoken to Tweek in nine years or so. He has no idea what state he'll be in or what he's gonna want from Craig. Even now Craig feels a little nostalgic for how they used to be, as teenagers before it all hit the fan. 

Tweek is waiting in the foyer. He looks tired but not unhealthy. He looks like he's at a healthy weight, there's colour in his cheeks and his eyes look well… normal. It's good to see him looking well. His hair is as wild and blonde as ever and Craig remembers the way he used to run his fingers through it. 

"Hi," Tweek says awkwardly. 

"How did you know where I live?" Craig asks, straight off the bat. 

"Clyde told me the building and I  _ -nnn-  _ worked it out from there. Clyde only told me because I told him I want to try and  _ -ah- _ make amends," Tweek explains "this is a nice place, man."

"It's not nice," Craig mumbles "but it's  _ nicer  _ than where I was before."

"It's way nicer than anywhere I've lived over the past  _ -nghh-  _ ten years," Tweek remarks.

"I've hustled," Craig says shortly.

"You've done  _ -gah-  _ amazing," Tweek agrees "look, I won't bullshit you. I'm here to  _ -nghh-  _ say sorry. I know sorry doesn't  _ -ah-  _ cut it but it's gotta be a start right?"

"It's a start," Craig replies cautiously.

"I got sober recently. Did rehab and stuff, one of the things they  _ -hnn-  _ encourage is to say sorry to the people you harmed when in your addiction. Obviously I harmed you, and Seth, beyond repair. But I  _ -ah-  _ want to help. Whatever I can," he rambles looking down at his hands.

"It's been nearly  _ ten  _ years Tweek. He's gone his entire life not knowing you," Craig replies, gobsmacked. How can Tweek just drop in like this? "Why didn't you call first?"

"I was afraid you wouldn't talk to me," Tweek admits.

"Okay well, you're here now I guess," Craig doesn't quite know what to do. 

"I know, but if he still wants to know me… I'd like to  _ -nnn-  _ know him," Tweek confesses. 

"I could never deny him that, just… are you really sober?" Craig has to ask. It's just been so long that Tweek has been an addict. Craig didn't think he'd ever get sober. 

"I am," Tweek affirms with a small smile. Craig knows that smile. Tweek is proud. 

"I believe you, I'll let you come up and talk to him but… try and go slow. He doesn't know you," Craig advises. 

"Does he  _ -gah-  _ hate me?" Tweek asks nervously. 

"I mean I tried to tell him nice things but I can't read his mind," Craig admits. There probably is some resentment there but Craig doesn't know how deep it runs. 

"Thanks, some of my  _ -ah-  _ other kids… their parents weren't so forgiving," Tweek admits.

"You've got more kids?" Craig asks. He knew Tweek had at least one other but he doesn't want to come off as that stalker ex. 

"Two more. Andrew and Lauren," Tweek nods "they're nine and five. I've been a  _ -gah-  _ shitty dad to them too."

"Are they full siblings?" Craig asks out pure curiosity. 

"Nah, I had Lauren too. It was the worst, I don't know how you did it all back then," Tweek says sadly. Craig doesn't need to know the full story to know that baby was probably born addicted to meth, just like Tweek himself was "Lauren's other dad is  _ -nnn-  _ great though, she's okay because of him," Tweek explains. Craig is glad he clarified. 

"Just did what I had to," Craig says as he unlocks the front door to their apartment. "I can't imagine you pregnant," he admits.

"I  _ -nghh-  _ shouldn't have been," Tweek says sadly, "but it's done now and she's here."

"Well," Craig says, changing the subject "this is our apartment. It's not much, but it's ours." 

Seth looks up from the couch looking utterly confused. He's apparently abandoned his homework because of all the drama and is now staring at Tweek.

Seth has always looked like Craig. Tall for his age, dark hair and olive skin. But he has Tweek's eyes, a bright blue compared to Craig's hazel. It's always made him stand out. Back when Tweek and Craig first split it had made him sad to see this reminder of Tweek in his son. Now that hurt has faded and Craig doesn't mind, he likes the uniqueness of them and that his son got some of Tweek's physical attributes. 

"He looks exactly like you," Tweek breathes.

"Not exactly," Craig replies. He waits for Tweek to spot his own eyes on his son's face himself.

"Who are you?" Seth asks, frowning.

"Well, uh… Seth," Craig begins not sure the best way to say it but he knows he wants to be honest from the jump "this is your dad."

"Did you get better?" Is Seth's reply. Craig is always amazed by the resilience of children. 

"Ah, yeah," Tweek says. "I guess I did." 


	5. Mai Figlio Unico

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seth is Craig's only child.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the end. I hope the ending is somewhat satisfying while still being mostly realistic :)

Seth is Craig's only child. He never really has the opportunity to have another. Maybe some people would say it's unhealthy but Craig hasn't dated anyone since he was twenty or so. He hasn't been on a date since Tweek and he split. It's not because he's been hung up on Tweek for fifteen years or so. That ache dulled, it just became obvious to him that dating takes away from his time with Seth and he never wanted that. He's had the odd, very rare hookup but that was only when he was sure Seth was with his mom and he  _ never, ever  _ brought a guy home knowing Seth would be there. Any hookups Craig had been fastidious with birth control, he wasn't bringing in another child, not when he was doing his best to support Seth. 

Craig thinks it paid off anyway, as things are better than they were ten, fifteen years ago. Craig is a nurse now, he graduated with honors and was offered a job almost straight away. After saving for a few years he decided to move himself and Seth to a slightly more upmarket area. Their apartment is still small, Craig isn't loaded, but it's two bedroom and the area is significantly safer. Craig's happier to pay the higher rent and sacrifice on space to know that they're safer at night. 

Craig is going on 35 so he knows technically he  _ could  _ have another child but he thinks the likelihood of him meeting someone, settling down and him feeling comfortable enough is not very high. Seth sometimes tries to encourage him to try tinder or online dating or something but Craig really isn't interested. He kind of gets why his mom never really dated either. They're so alike that history just keeps repeating. At least history hasn't repeated with Seth, on either parent's side. Seth is good at school, has always stayed out of trouble and never had any unplanned pregnancies. Craig is glad that even if he and Tweek were doomed to repeat their parents mistakes at least he has managed to break the cycle with Seth. 

But Seth  _ isn't  _ an only child. He has two half siblings on Tweek's side. There is Andrew, who is fifteen and Tweek now has full custody of. And Lauren who is eleven. Tweek only sees her on weekends, to be negotiated when she's a little older. Lately Tweek has come pretty good. The first time he came to make amends he relapsed not long after. Craig simply said, get sober again and you can come back and see Seth. He hadn't expected Tweek to come back. 

But he had. He'd told Craig he would go back to rehab and he came through. He did and he's been doing well ever since. Andrew's other parent is also an addict and it became apparent that they could no longer care for him anymore so Tweek took him. As far as Craig can tell that has kept Tweek very accountable and on track. 

Tweek is around now, part time, as he's juggling three kids in his schedule. Craig tries to be accommodating because he knows Tweek's custody agreement with Lauren's other father is quite strict. Seth knows his half siblings, but they're not really close. Seth almost never sees Lauren but he does get to see Andrew when he stays with Tweek. Craig and Tweek get along pretty well now. Maybe that's because it's been so many years since Tweek hurt him and it all just feels so far away now. Craig and Tweek get along the best out of all Tweek's baby daddies. Craig doesn't know details really beyond what Tweek tells him but he gets the impression they aren't as casual and friendly. They're kind of friends now, it's weird. 

Seth is seventeen, so soon he'll be an adult and can make these kind of decisions for himself. Craig is kind of anxious about it. He's devoted his entire life to bringing up Seth and he wonders what Seth will go on to do as an adult. Even though they're doing better financially than when Seth was small Craig still can't afford to send him to college. Seth is going to be applying for scholarships and he has a job of his own now. Craig didn't want to push him to work but Seth wanted to start earning his own money. He just works at a coffee shop but Craig is proud of him. 

"Do you want to go away to college?" Craig asks Seth. Seth has just returned from a visit to Tweek and Craig has had the weekend alone. He should've been having some 'me' time but he couldn't help but think about the future.

"Maybe, if I get in," Seth replies with a shrug, throwing his overnight bag on the couch.

"I'll miss you," Craig admits "but if you get in you should go."

"It will be the first time that I've been that far away from you," Seth says, sinking down onto the couch next to Craig.

"Well you've been to your dads and stuff," Craig offers, knowing deep down it isn't the same. 

"Only for a few days," Seth replies "I'll miss you though. I'll try not to go too far away."

"You go as far as you want," Craig says. "I'll come visit you."

"I don't want to go too far, I mean I might not even get in," Seth suggests with a shrug. Craig knows that won't happen. 

"You will," Craig says, very sure "you're really smart."

"I guess," Seth states "I mean, so are you. I mean when you were college-aged you had a baby… I couldn't do that."

"I love you, very much but having a baby so young wasn't smart of me at all," Craig admits.

"I don't see it that way, I see it like, you were alone with a kid in less than ideal circumstances and you were strong enough to pull us both out. And you did it completely by yourself," Seth explains. Craig reaches out to hug him. 

"Your grandmother absolutely helped," Craig says warmly. His arms still wrapped around Seth. Seth has always been an affectionate child and Craig thinks this is something Seth probably got from him. His mother has always been very affectionate to him and Craig learnt everything he knows about parenting from her. Seth isn't quite as tall as Craig is but he's close. Craig still wants to wrap his baby up in love, even though they are basically the same size now. 

"Of course," Seth agrees with a nod "I'm still really proud of you, dad." 

"I love you," is all Craig says in reply "and I'm extremely proud of you."

"I'm not leaving yet," Seth states "so we don't need to be sad," he smiles as they finally break their embrace. 

"I know, I know. But you're my only baby," Craig says. "and you're nearly grown."

"I'm not an only child though, sort of," Seth shrugs. He's always been a little confused about how he should feel about it all as they all live such separate lives. 

"But you're  _ my  _ only," Craig stresses "you are the only child I will ever have, so you are the most important person in the world to me."

"You could have another, don't say that," Seth frowns. 

"I don't  _ want  _ any more kids Seth. You are the only baby I will ever need," Craig tries his best to explain. He feels like they are family as they are. He feels whole with his one child. He doesn't think he needs a partner, if he meets someone he might reconsider but he won't force it.

"I guess, if that's what you want. I just worry about you being alone when I'm gone," Seth admits "I don't want you to get lonely."

"I'm not old you know," Craig says with a grin, "I'll find something to do, see some friends."

"Do you think you'll keep in touch with dad?" Seth asks curiously. It's a question Craig hasn't considered before. Technically he doesn't have to stay in touch with Tweek. Seth will be an adult who can arrange his own contact by then. 

"I might, it's funny how we work well as friends," Craig replies, pondering out loud. 

"He still loves you, I think," Seth admits, almost cautiously like he's worried he'll hit a raw nerve. 

"I still have some love for him, but not like  _ that  _ anymore. It's been too many years and there's been too many disappointments," Craig explains. He does still love Tweek in a distant, nostalgic kind of way He's definitely not looking to be romantic with him ever again but maybe they could be friends. They've always had good dynamic, even when they were kids. 

Craig wonders what he might do when he has more time on his own. He could see movies on his own, a lot of his friends have young children so he doesn't think they'll be too up to just randomly hanging out. Craig thinks maybe he could get a pet, he's always wanted a guinea pig. He has options, which seems such a far cry from when he first had Seth. He had felt backed into a corner a little bit, with no other option but to fight his way out. 

He doesn't regret it, as tough as it was. He's still young himself. He's going to be around longer for Seth, if Seth has kids he'll get to be around for them. But there's no rush, Craig would rather Seth be older, and maybe he won't even want any children. It's all okay with Craig, Seth has grown into his own person and Craig trusts him to make his own choices. He loves Seth but he knows he can't hold on forever. He has to let him spread his wings and grow.

"Well," Seth says after some silence "I'm here now, and I will be till school ends. So there's still time for us to do things together."

"There are tons of things I'd love to do," Craig agrees.

\--

Craig loves to watch the sunset. He would watch them alone when pregnant, hoping he could share the beauty with his baby. His baby grew up, sometimes they'd watch together. Especially when Seth was small and he'd wake up when Craig returned home from nights and they could watch the sunrise together. It's something Craig has always had, even if Seth has lost interest as he got older. Craig still loves the peace and quiet. He still adores the warm glow of colours, they remind him what he has. He doesn't feel like a family  _ has  _ to the picture perfect unit he used to wish for. His first great love doesn't need to be forever. Things just sometimes are. For Craig the relationship he has with his son is forever, the relationship he has with his mother is timeless. There is nothing stronger and nothing else he needs. His mother made him, loved him, brought him into the world and shaped him into the person he is now. He learnt from her how to do the same for Seth and he thinks he's done a good job. 

Craig's family is exactly what it needs to be. 

So they stand, all three together. The person who made Craig and the person Craig has made all together to watch the sunset. They've come here as a vacation. A last hurrah before Seth moves away to study. A small place by the sea, it's the furthest from home Craig has ever been. When he looks up at the sky he sees stars instead of the city's smog. It's beautiful, a sunset over the sea. Much more beautiful than at home. He's going to miss his baby boy,  _ so  _ much. But who is he to hold him back? Seth has a chance to do even better than he has done, get a degree, get a good job and make a life for himself. Some people might think it's crazy for him to make Seth's upbringing his purpose but now, seeing the results it's worth it. 

"It's really beautiful," Seth says as they look out at the sky.

"Yeah," Craig agrees. It's the warm glow he can relate to now. 

**Author's Note:**

> My tumblr is blesspastacraig if you wanna be friends :)


End file.
